Butterfly Dreams
by Six-Helix
Summary: Gibbs, cases affect us all differently, it doesn't mean we turn cold it just means we change. I've changed...
1. Chapter 1

Brown eyes scanned an empty bullpen, with a sigh shaking his whole body Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo stood up. He looked down at his aging hands and grabbed the paper he had been reviewing. It was a case file, simple, classic, just another serial killer they had put behind bars. But something about this one caused something to happen behind the scenes of this weathered agent's eyes. He slowly placed the paper back in it's file and then laid it on his boss' desk. He turned slowly, his dark hues landing on the clock against the brown tinted wall and he grunted very much like Gibbs would have when the time 4:01 A.M. flashed back at him. Tony drew in a shaky breath and grabbed his coat, slowly the agents body made it's way to the elevator his fingers hitting the lights as he left.

"Morning Jethro." Director Shepherd spoke softly into Gibbs' ear as her fingers stroked the silvery chest of the seasoned marine.

"Mmm...good morning to you Director." He smiled and kissed her forehead, his fingers running through the length of her hair.

"You know...we have an hour before I have to go to work Jethro." Shepherd purred gently, her nails tracing their way down his inner thigh.

"Yes...an hour, for you. But I have to get a criminal to his cell this morning." He laid his hand upon her's and pushed it off slowly his lips running along the length of her forearm before he got out of bed.

Tony tossed in his bed, sleep decided not to come to him on tonight of all nights. He ran his hand across his sweating brow and just gazed at the ceiling. His fingers traced over the solitary ring that was attached to his necklace. He closed his eyes and hummed silently, a tune that was so slow it could soothe a babe into sleep but not Tony. For Tony it was a song of sadness, not joy, there used to be someone he shared that song with someone he shared his heart and his home with. But in one flick of a finger, one squeeze of a trigger his life had been taken away from him.

Tiny feet could be heard beating against the floor of his apartment and Tony sprang from the bed, he smiled weakly as any father would in the wee hours of the morning to his young daughter. "Hey baby what are you doing out of bed?" He asked in a soft, soothing tone. His hand landed on her cheek, she was ice cold and shivering he made a soft sound and ran his thumb across her cheek while she spoke.

"Daddy...I don't feel good..." She mumbled her body rolling into his lap, his eyes widened as he caught her limp form. She had always been sickly when she was younger but at five when she recieved a heart transplant she seemed to get better, but now...now Tony had flash backs. In an instant she was clutched in his arms and he was racing down the stairs of his apartment, his door swinging behind him with a force strong enough to wake the dead.

The phone rang even as Gibbs began to head out the door, but for some reason he was compelled to answer it. His fingers latched around the receiver and even as he picked it up he could feel his gut wrenching.

"Gibbs."

"Gibbs! It's Tony, Teresa she's..."

"Where are you?"

"Meadowbrook Children's Hospital."

"Give me ten."

For those ten minutes Tony sat on the edge of his seat, his fingers caressing the stuffed bear that Teresa so treasured. His breath came in quick gasps and he was doing everything he could to keep from having a panic attack. But nothing really seemed to ease those nerves until a hand fell on his shoulder and his brown eyes caught the steel blue of Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

"How is she?"

"They...they won't tell me anything..." Gibbs kneaded his shoulder gently, taking a seat beside him. Tony looked like he was the walking dead, but since the beginning of this case he had appeared as such. Especially the night after Louisa was murdered. He sighed gently and looked down, those icy blues closing he could still remember the man beside him crouched and crying covered in his wife's blood...and screaming her name over and over again. It was a sound that Gibbs was sure he could never forget...something that would haunt him for the rest of his days.

The shuffling of feet could be heard and standing there before them was a young doctor, Tony immediately stood and Gibbs was right behind him placing a hand carefully on Tony's shoulder as the doctor began to speak.

"Agent Dinozzo...I didn't think I would have to see you with Teresa here again for a long long time...and I wish I had better news for you but to say that I did would be a lie..."

"Stop bullshitting me doctor and tell me whats wrong with my little girl!" He practically threw his body at the doctor but Gibbs' firm hand pulled him back and thrust him into a seat.

"You relax Dinozzo or I will yank your gun and badge so fast you'll have some sort of burn!" He growled at the man and then turned back to the doctor with a forced smile. '"What we both mean is, what's going on with her doctor?"

"She's dying to say it nicely...her heart is giving out and there is very little possibility that she can recieve another since the list is so long..."

The doctor was so used to the long faces that seemed to be a never ending stream when he had to relate the worst news but he wasn't prepared for what Tony would do. The man launched himself at the doctor, the only thing saving the poor man was Gibbs stepping into the way and placing a well trained fist right into the gut of the other agent sending him flying across the waiting room. "Dinozzo! Stand down and that's an order!"

The doctor was quite terrified, even when Gibbs reassured him that Tony was quite the teddy bear and meant no real harm then asked where the phone was. The doctor told him hurriedly and scurried off leaving Gibbs glaring with those cold hues back at Tony. "If you move Dinozzo I will not hesitate to put fifteen rounds in you and give your daughter your heart!" He snorted then headed towards the phone leaving Tony behind just sitting where he had landed with tears falling down those tanned cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

Shaky fingers out stretched from Tony's limp shocked form, his eyes blinking away the sting of his tears as he gently grabbed the teddy bear pulling it to his face so that he could bury his features into it's soft plush fur. He was slidding down into a shell of his former self, his mind was cracking with each tear he sobbed into that bear and everyone in the waiting room could feel the tenseness of his boss as he rentered. Tony's dark hues rose to gaze blankly at probably the closest friend he could ever say he had in any respect, and though they were not what one would say close what the two could see in each other's eyes was more than enough for the two of them. So when Tony saw the redness, saw the slight gleam to his eyes as Gibbs returned Tony knew...Gibbs the great Marine and strong man had been crying over Tony's little Teresa.

"Get up...we've got work to do." The voice was cold, the tone just blending in with those horrible infomorcials on the closed circuit tv. Tony sighed, his fingers running through the bear's fur before he stood, legs weak and body trembling he moved towards Gibbs regardless.

Tony had no words to return even when Gibbs asked him if he had even slept, and Gibbs himself knew that there would be nothing to come out of the man. He had seen it before, hell he had been there when his wife and daughter were brutally raped and murdered because of what he was, and he had seen Tony do it before after the undercover case. God that day he thought he lost the boy beside him...but he hadn't, he had just been left to help Tony pick up the pieces of his life. And through it all, Tony and Louisa getting married, having Teresa, the heart transplant, and even Louisa's murder he had been there to help Tony pick up the pieces. Now...all he wanted to do was find who was responsible for this, but that's when the cold realization hit...no one was responsible for what was happening to Teresa or Tony.

There was an audible growl from the seat next to Tony, and it made the man wake up to something. "Gibbs...where are we going?" His voice was like a croak...weaker though and with a soft undertone like he was about to loose all capabilities of speech. And Gibbs caught that...felt it and more importantly remembered doing it himself.

"To Ducky's, figured you needed some sleep and to get something to eat before we go to headquarters."

"Gibbs...surely you don't think I am going to work with my daug..."

"DINOZZO! You are going to work, and that is a direct order! Violate it and by god your ass will be on the blacklist for every department of any type in the whole world!" Tony just looked down, his fingers thumbing over the bear once more. "And god damnit put that bear down!" Gibbs growled again and watched as Tony hesitantly put it the floor and continued to rub it with his foot. Gibbs honestly couldn't blame him...after all when his family was killed he built his first boat and has been building them ever since so he didn't have to realize how alone he really was. And whether he wanted to admit it or not, he would be doing the same thing as Tony.

Before Tony even considered where they were in their journey, their ride was over at Ducky's door. The sounds of yapping corgis and Ducky's elderly mother's voice echoed softly. It was early morning but still...there was enough activity in that house to make Tony twitch remembering when he was in charge of corgi and mother sitting. He twitched softly then looked over at Gibbs, "Gibbs do you honestly think this is the best place for me to sleep?"

"No...but it is a good place for you to talk and get something in you. We both know you haven't had more than a few pieces of toast since Louisa's murder. And Tony...you are starting to become the walking dead on us. I'm not going to let that little girl who needs her father not be able to have him, so get off your ass and get back to who you were because she needs you know more than ever."

"Gibbs..." Tony spoke softly, his dark eyes trying to search those cold blue ones but he kept coming with the same conclusion...that he would never find anything in those eyes and so he gave up his search and got out of the car. By the time he had his door closed Ducky was heading out of the large house followed by a pack of corgis that would frighten away anyone but Gibbs."Duck did you have to bring the mutts?" Tony asked putting on a fake smile, hiding his misery.

Ducky met Tony's eyes then let his own fall, he saw the death in those eyes. Not of Teresa, but more of Tony himself. Ducky sighed, his lungs rattling with his age as he spoke softly. "Anthony, you know very well that these are mother's prized possessions." He smiled in return and walked up to the young man, placing a hand on his shoulder the grip tightening with that since of knowledge before he gazed towards the ever solid Gibbs.

"Duck you don't think we could get some coffee and breakfast this early do you?" Gibbs was directly implying, but in a kind way as he let his own eyes meet with Ducky's. Those two men had always shared something that Gibbs couldn't let anyone else know, after all Gibbs and Ducky had been working together when Gibbs' daughter was born as well as murdered. And thus the two shared much history that Gibbs kept hidden from Tony, Ziva, and McGee. Hell even Jen didn't know everything about his daughter and wife.


End file.
